Life gets messy when we don’t trust God

A little story …. this week I have been reminded once again of what it means to do life ‘in your own strength.’  Those times when you are pushing through, but doing it the hard way, often with a really bad attitude – resentment being a key factor. Life gets messy when we don’t trust God.

Juggling work & children

Over the past couple of years I have become more involved in our business, which has been great for me, Ken and the business. But not always great for our children especially when school holidays come around.

During the school holidays resentment can creep in as I have a strong desire to complete the day’s work jobs well, but also have a strong desire to actually have some fun with our children as they are out of the normal school routine. One moment I am resenting the work, but then God reminds me this is the means by which we have a warm, dry home and food to eat. The next moment I am resenting the children being at home, but then God reminds me that they are a blessing from Him and how different my life would be without them!

A lack of trust in God

This morning I realised that the source of that resentment is actually a lack of trust in God.  That is, I’m not trusting that God will give me enough time in my day to do the things that He wants me to do (not the things I think I need to do).  But rather I am trying to work out myself how to fit it all in (ie doing it in my own strength), and getting very impatient and frustrated with everyone around me.

The funny thing is, yesterday morning I expected that I would have to work all day to get various tasks done before we closed for the Christmas holiday period. The stress levels had risen by 8am when the children started waking up and my time of non-interrupted work suddenly became 10 minutes slots of concentration in among children’s requests.

Then I went to a 10am appointment, only to find that the appointment was for today! So there was 45 minutes wasted.

Home again to work on some financial reporting, which turned out to be a lot simpler than I thought it was going to be. Finished! I looked at the clock on my computer – midday. Not the 6pm that I thought it was going to be. I felt pretty stupid. I had caused angst to myself and my children for nothing – other than for me to be reminded that it is always better to walk with God through the day, rather than try to run my own race and cause havoc in the process.

A morning prayer

A simple matter of getting up in the morning, taking a deep breath, giving all the tasks I think I need to do to God, and saying, ‘Please show me which ones I need to do, and how and when to do them.’  And then waiting to hear what He says, and be guided by Him. Not charging off on my own agenda – doing it in my own strength.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways.” says the LORD. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9 NKJV

Thankfully God is gracious and merciful, and there was a time of restoration with the children in the afternoon as I switched off from work and we watched some Christmas movies together.

My grace is always more than enough for you, and my power finds its full expression through your weakness.  2 Corinthians 12:9 TPT

Remember to trust God

Hopefully when we re-open the business in January I will remember this lesson and trust that God has it all sorted!

Trust in the Lord completely, and do not rely on your own opinions, with all your heart rely on him to guide you, and he will lead you in every decision you make. Proverbs 3:5 TPT

For some more thoughts on life with Jesus please visit this post:

Jesus is with us – Day 23 – Drawing Closer to God devotion

If you are looking for more encouragement today, check out my podcasts.

Victoria Grace Update – Definitely a new season

​So it's been a while since I've posted, but now seems like an appropriate time. Praise God we are definitely in a new season. Victoria and I are currently at the School Sports Australia Track and Field Exchange (ie schools national athletics championships) in Melbourne. Victoria has won a bronze medal for the 11 year old girls multi-class discus. As you can see in these photos she is a very excited girl!

​What a journey to get here! There are many people who have helped Victoria get to this place, starting 8 years ago with all the John Hunter Children's Hospital therapists that helped her after she had a stroke during the brain surgery. We are so grateful for the time and care they put into her rehabilitation, along with many other friends and family who came to our home and helped out with blocks of intensive OT and Physio.

​January 2011 - Left arm and left leg splints - still smiling

March 2011 - Hydrotherapy - Still smiling

May 2011 - First AFO (Splint)

May 2011 - Constraint therapy - forcing Victoria to learn how to use her left hand again (no smiling - all concentration!)

​Since starting school at Belmont Christian College in 2012 (the year in which we found out the tumour was growing again and Victoria had to start 15 months of weekly chemo), she has been surrounded by teachers and students that have prayed for her and supported her on the 'off days'. We are grateful for her sports teacher, Mr Robins who has continually encouraged her in her sporting endeavours since kindergarten. In Victoria's words, he has always challenged her to try new things in sport, taught her how to set goals and keeps reminding her not to give up.

Victoria and Mr Robins

​When we found out that Victoria had qualified at the State competition for the nationals Mr Robins arranged for Victoria to have some more technical coaching from a national age discus champion - Ash Blackstock (and her mum Emily), which was invaluable. And there was plenty of laughing too.

I can't post any of my videos from the events in Melbourne, however click here to see a video of Victoria training, practicing the tips she learnt from Ash and Emily.

We are also extremely grateful for the help of the physios and the OT that regularly work with her to ensure her muscles are doing the right things.

And of course we know that as well as all the hard work, the power of prayer is essential and we are grateful for those who pray for Victoria and those who continue to provide encouragement verbally, in messages and practically. God is building a great team around her. Thank you for coming on this journey with us - the best is yet to come.

After winning the bronze medal, and we were walking to our seats, Victoria asked me, "Are you proud of me mum?" I'm pretty sure I had said that to her at least three times, but obviously she needed to hear it again, so I said,

"Yes, I am proud of you for winning a medal, but there are also at least 6 other things I am proud of you for ...

the hard work you have put in over the years to keep your body functioning;

overcoming the fall down the stadium stairs when you hit your head on the concrete this morning;

getting through the classification process without falling apart;

not giving up when you kept throwing fouls today;

being a friend to other competitors that don't find it easy to make friends;

continually relying on God to get you through each challenge you face.

Yes I am very proud of you."

On Sunday Victoria also competed in the 11yr girls multi-class relay, for the ACT/NSW team, as the first runner. She was a little bit nervous as she had never run a relay race competitively before (they only do it at this level for multi-class). Here she is on the tram on the way to stadium trying to settle the nerves.

Again I can't post my video of the relay, but her team came fourth. When Victoria came off the track, the first thing she said to me was, 'I want to do it again!'

Unfortunately we cannot all be here to support Victoria at the this competition, but Ken and my Mum and Dad are doing a great job at home, keeping things going. Marshall, Charlotte and Alexandra are often ringing with messages of support.

The experience of coming to this competition has been wonderful for Victoria, not only from a sporting perspective, but also from a personal perspective. The NSW team has about 150 children in it, of which about 42 are multi-class children, so in this environment she is not 'different' but she is part of a large team of children who have all overcome so much physically and mentally to compete in these track and field events. The value of experience cannot be underestimated. So thank you again to everyone who over the years has helped make this possible.

And we are ever thankful to our God who has never left us or forsaken us throughout these year. He has carried us many many times, and always provided what was needed. He is faithful.

Yet amid all these things we are more than conquerors and gain a surpassing victory through Him Who loved us. Romans 8:37

And now an update on my book ... I've had a couple of copies printed to check out the layout etc before doing a larger print run ....

There are a couple of minor things that need to change and then it is complete! What a journey this project has been too.

My prayer is that this book will be a blessing to many people, not just those people who find themselves on a similar journey to us, but to anyone who is in a situation where they have no options other than to trust God - and the challenge that presents as we fluctuate from belief to unbelief and back to belief.

As I was asking God what to put in this post about the book He reminded me about the dedication page in the book ...

Just in case you can't read it in the image, it says ...

This book is dedicated to our daughter, Victoria Grace, without whom there would have been no story to write. I love you Victoria. Thank you for showing me how to live in victory despite my circumstances.

As I re-read the dedication I realised that once again over these past few weeks Victoria has shown me how to 'live in victory despite my circumstances.'

In the past couple of weeks Victoria has had some appointments that have negatively impacted her emotionally - lots of anger and tears. Then as I mentioned briefly above, here in Melbourne on the Saturday morning just before she was to go to the classification appointment she fell down the steps in the stadium and hit her head.

After being checked out by the first aid people, she slowly and carefully made her way to the classification appointment (which has previously been an experience that also resulted in a lot of negative emotion as her level of physical disability is assessed - it is a bit 'in your face'). Thankfully the classifiers were very child friendly, and there was no emotional outfall.

Then it was time for the discus competition, she was a little shakey on her feet, and after throwing a couple of fouls she looked to me standing at the fence and indicated for me to pray (as if I wasn't already praying!!!!). She knows Who gives strength in moments like these. She didn't give up, kept focused and eventually won the bronze medal.

So despite the years of heartache, pain, disappointment, fear and emotional depletion, I can see God's hand on her life, and our entire family's lives as the years go on and His purpose unfolds. And I am grateful that He has carried us through, continually building a deeper level of trust in Him - learning how to live in victory despite the circumstanced - In Jesus Name.

So if you are local and interested in purchasing a print copy of my book I am selling them (cash only) for $25 (incl GST) each, or $20 (incl GST) each if you order two or more - perhaps you might like to give one as a gift to someone who is going through a similar journey to us (there is lots of practical information in it too) or to anyone who is needing hope and inspiration to just keep going.

If you are not local, I will very soon have my website ready to accept online orders and payments. I'll let you know when this is ready, along with the availability of ebook and audio book.

Initially the profits will cover the outstanding production costs, and then a portion of the profits will go to the charities that have helped us over the years.

For anyone interested, the book covers the first three years of this journey. The table of contents is listed below ...

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1 The Diagnosis

Christmas Holidays

Reflection – The importance of a shared faith when the going gets tough

Chapter 2 Family, Fun and Fear

Waiting Days

Reflection – Distractions – there is a battle going on

Chapter 3 Post Op Recovery

Hospital and waiting days

Reflection – The Holy Spirit – our Comforter

Chapter 4 Home and Rehabilitation

Emails 8 Feb to 3 Mar 2011

Reflection – Rehab – Conquering and creativity

Chapter 5 More Therapy

Emails 14 Mar to 18 May 2011

Reflection – Creativity in therapy

Chapter 6 New Things and Events

Emails 16 Jun 2011 to 30 Jan 2012

Reflection – Camp Quality meets our needs

Chapter 7 The News We Didn’t Want

Emails 22 Feb to 18 Jun 2012

Reflection – Dealing with disappointment

Chapter 8 Chemotherapy

Emails 19 Jun to 22 Jul 2012

Reflection – The Carer needs to be cared for

Chapter 9 Wonderful Support

Emails 1 Aug to 14 Sep 2012

Reflection – Community, giving and receiving

Chapter 10 Scans and A Big Scare

Emails 1 Oct to 16 Nov 2012

Reflection – Plan B preparing for the crisis

Chapter 11 The Silly Season

Emails 26 Nov to 28 Dec 2012

Reflection – Mothers

Chapter 12 New Year and a Blog

Emails 6 Jan to 24 Jan 2013

Reflection – Writing as therapy

Chapter 13 School and Another MRI

Blog posts 31 Jan to 15 Feb 2013

Reflection – Fathers

Chapter 14 Normal Life

Blog posts 19 Feb to 29 Mar 2013

Reflection – Siblings are a blessing

Chapter 15 Living From Scan to Scan

Blog posts 9 April to 21 May 2013

Reflection – Thankfulness is key

Chapter 16 High Temperatures and Hospital Again

Blog posts 29 May to 5 Jul 2013

Reflection – Practical tips for the home of a child on chemo

Chapter 17 Precious Family Time

Blog posts 12 Jul to 26 Jul 2013

Reflection – The Bible

Chapter 18 The Wish

Blog posts 3 Aug to 9 Aug 2013

Reflection – Charities

Chapter 19 Reality Hits Fast

Blog posts 11 Aug to 19 Sep 2013

Reflections – Keeping the left leg working

Chapter 20 Living from a Place of Victory

Blog posts 27 Sept to 29 Oct 2013

Final Reflection – Three years of learning

Epilogue

Acknowledgements

About Wendy Robinson

Appendix A Scriptures

Appendix B Victoria’s Medical Diagnoses

Appendix C Occupational Therapy Activities

Appendix D One Hour Occupational Therapy Plan

Appendix E Master List of Lists

Appendix F Emergency Hospital Bag Contents Checklist

Appendix G Homecoming Checklist

Appendix H School Booklet

Appendix I Signs for Displaying at Home

Appendix J Home Medical Kit

Appendix K Charities that have helped our family

Appendix L Maintaining and Improving Leg Function

Notes

My sense is that there is a second book to write, and the story is only just beginning!

Anyway, that is more than enough information for now! Thank you so much for staying the distance with us. Please continue to pray for Victoria as she approaches the teenage years and the challenges they can bring. I am going to finish this long post (sorry that it is so long - but there was so much good news to share!) with one of my favourite scriptures ...

But me, I'm not giving up. I'm sticking around to see what GOD will do. I'm waiting for God to make things right. I'm counting on God to listen to me. Micah 7:7 The Message

I pray that God will bless you and your family and give you the strength to overcome and live in victory, In Jesus Name, Amen.

You are ‘the one’

During the weekend I had the privilege of listening to someone’s story of God’s grace in their life as they shared about circumstance after circumstance that God had used (not created) to draw them to Himself. Of course I was in tears. It was a wonderful testimony of God continually seeking after ‘the one’, and not giving up until she had returned home to Him.

God’s heart for us

In Luke 15 Jesus shares about God’s heart for us…

In response, Jesus gave them this illustration:

“There was once a shepherd with a hundred lambs, but one of his lambs wandered away and was lost. So the shepherd left the ninety-nine lambs out in the open field and searched in the wilderness for that one lost lamb. He didn’t stop until he finally found it. With exuberant joy he raised it up and placed it on his shoulders, carrying it back with cheerful delight!

Returning home, he called all his friends and neighbours together and said, ‘Let’s have a party! Come and celebrate with me the return of my lost lamb. It wandered away, but I found it and brought it home.”

Jesus continued, “In the same way, there will be a glorious celebration in heaven over the rescue of one lost sinner who repents, comes back home, and returns to the fold – more so than for all the righteous people who never strayed away.”

Luke 15:3-7 TPT

God wants us to do life with Him

It is difficult to describe the depth of God’s love for us. He doesn’t want us in the wilderness, doing life without Him. He wants us to make the choice to receive His love, and grow in His strength and live doing what He has called us to do – be His light in this world.

Now you must continue to make this new life fully manifested as you live in the holy awe of God – which brings you trembling into his presence. God will continually revitalise you, implanting within you the passion to do what pleases him. Philippians 2:12-13 TPT

Live in holy awe of God – that awe is what I felt when listening to my friend’s story. Awe that God would patiently wait for her to return, bringing people alongside to pray for her, to share His love with her in many practical ways and to speak of His love. Even now as I think about it, the tears come.

Brings you trembling into his presence –  about a month ago one of our children was unwell and couldn’t go to church, so I stayed at home with her and we watched Louie Gigilo’s Indescribable video. I still find it difficult to understand that this all powerful God passionately desires to have a personal relationship with me, you and other 7 billion plus people on the earth.

God knows everything about us

That He knows each one of us … not like we know a spouse or a close friend. No, much much more intimately than that …

You formed my innermost being, shaping my delicate inside and my intricate outside, and wove them all together in my mother’s womb. 

I thank you, God, for making me so mysteriously complex! Everything you do is marvellously breathtaking.

It simply amazes me to think about it!

How thoroughly you know me, Lord!

You even formed every bone in my body when you created me in the secret place, carefully, skillfully shaping me from nothing to something. 
Psalm 139:13-15 TPT

Only by the grace of God

But what helps me come to that place of reconciling this  unfathomable all powerful God and His love for me is the many personal experiences I have had of His love… That continual revelation of seeing how He goes before us, preparing a way… That witnessing of His mercy when you know a situation could have been much much worse… The receiving of His grace when you know that there is no other explanation than … only by the grace of God… The sense that He is carrying you because you have absolutely nothing left in you… The knowing that you are ‘the one’ that He went looking for, so He could bring you home to where you belong.

Knowing that He is the creator of the universe AND the creator of me, having experienced His love, bring me trembling into His presence.

The purpose of today’s post? To help you take a moment to reflect on just how much your Heavenly Father loves you, and to encourage you to take some time to enjoy His presence today. You are ‘the one’.

For some more thoughts on God’s love for us please visit this post:
God is watching over us – Day 24 – Drawing Closer to God devotion

If you are looking for more encouragement today, check out my podcasts.

When we are weak

The other week, actually in the middle of the night, we had a child who needed comforting. She suggested we sing some worship songs to help shift the focus. Great idea! We quietly sang some worship songs we had recently been singing at church, mainly just the choruses as we couldn’t remember the other lines. She led. I followed (half asleep).

Then she asked, ‘What’s that song? It’s a simple one, you know.’ Yes I did know, and started to sing,

‘Jesus loves me this I know …. for the Bible tells me so…..little ones to Him belong…. we are weak but ….. He is strong.’

I think the words are actually, ‘they are weak’. But for us, we knew that it was definitely a ‘we’.

Eventually she went back to her bed, and I could hear singing from her room ….

‘Jesus loves me this I know’ over and over, softer and softer and eventually the silence of peaceful sleep. Thank you Jesus.

Lifting up the name of Jesus, always helps us. He doesn’t need a fanfare. He just wants us to call on Him because he cares for us.

Pour out all your worries and stress upon him and leave them there, for he always tenderly cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 TPT

Day or night, He is there, ready and waiting to respond to our call. He isn’t half asleep, half attentive. He is fully attentive always, ready with mercy and grace.

So here’s what I’ve learned through it all; Leave all your cares and anxieties at the feet of the Lord, and measureless grace will strengthen you. Psalm 55:22 TPT

Measureless grace. Available to you and me.

But he answered me, “My grace is always more than enough for you, and my power finds its full expression through your weakness.” So I will celebrate my weaknesses, for when I’m weak I sense more deeply the mighty power of Christ living in me. So I’m not defeated by my weakness, but delighted! For when I feel my weakness and endure mistreatment – when I’m surrounded with troubles on every side and face persecution because of my love for Christ – I am made yet stronger. For my weakness becomes a portal to God’s power. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 TPT

We are weak….. but ….. Jesus loves me this I know.

And today we have access to His love and power, so let’s surrender and lean on Him, allowing our weakness to become a portal to His power. Let’s live with the certainty that He is with us now – Emmanuel, and forever, beyond our life in this place.

So why would I fear the future? For your goodness and love pursue me all the days of my life. Then afterward, when my life is through, I’ll return to your glorious presence to be forever with you! Psalm 23:6 TPT

A safe place – Jesus

Are you searching for a safe place to express exactly how you feel today? Sometimes when the circumstances around me are in turmoil I picture myself being wrapped in the strong arms of my God, protecting me. His peace settles in me and I am assured of His overwhelmingly tangible presence.   Psalm 91 says it this way,

His massive arms are wrapped around you, protecting you. You can run under his covering of majesty and hide. His arms of faithfulness are a shield keeping you from harm. Psalm 91:4 TPT

Talking about running, at other times I want to run away, saying to myself, “It is all to hard, I want to have a simple life – with no responsibility and commitments.” But that’s not really life is it?

In those moments I know there is one place I can always run to – that place of worship and abandonment, that place where I commune with Jesus, that place where the tears come, grateful for His grace and mercy in my life. Grateful for who He is – the one who saves. Knowing that He has the big picture and I need to keep my focus on Him.

Don’t be pulled in different directions

Philippians 4:6-9 reminds us of that,

Don’t be pulled in different directions or worried about a thing. Be saturated in prayer throughout each day, offering your faith-filled requests before God with overflowing gratitude. Tell him every detail of your life, then God’s wonderful peace that transcends human understanding, will make answers known to you through Jesus Christ. So keep your thoughts continually fixed on all that is authentic and real, honorable and admirable, beautiful and respectful, pure and holy, merciful and kind. And fasten your thoughts on every glorious work of God, praising him always. Follow the example of all that we have imparted to you and the God of peace will be with you in all things. Philippians 4:6-9 TPT

A few words that jump out at me as I read that scripture …Don’t be pulled; Be saturated in prayer; Overflowing gratitude; Tell every detail God’s wonderful peace; Make answers known; Through Jesus Christ; Thoughts continually fixed; Fasten your thoughts; Praising Him; God of peace; With you in all things 

Jesus is a safe place

Well actually, that is more than a few words – that is a high level summary for finding that safe place, Jesus, who helps us to push through and find that place of feeling those massive loving arms of God around us.

When you sit enthroned under the shadow of Shaddai, you are hidden in the strength of God Most High. He’s the hope that holds me and the Stronghold to shelter me, the only God for me, and my great confidence. Psalm 91:1-2 TPT

For some more thoughts on God as our refuge, please visit these posts …
The canopy and God’s protection over us
Our refuge – Day 9 – Drawing Closer to God devotion

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