Category: Gods love for you

Seasons. As we transition to a new season I have been reflecting on all God has done, and all that we have learned, the times when there has been no other option but to trust God, and the depth of relationship that has come from those times of great need.

Whom have I in heaven but you? You’re all I want!
No one on earth means as much to me as you.
Lord, so many times I fail; I fall into disgrace.
But when I trust in you, I have a strong and glorious presence
protecting and anointing me. Forever you’re all I need!
Psalm 73:25-26 TPT

Our God is a God of order, not confusion. He does not ask you to do things before you are ready. At the time of Victoria’s diagnosis our emotional capacity to engage with other people shrunk dramatically. Gradually that capacity has returned.

For me, initially it was a complete focus on Victoria, then my own mental health, then our marriage, then our children, and after about 6 years I was ready and able to connect more fully with the wider world. That isn’t to say that I isolated myself for 6 years, no I was still engaging with people, but not at the emotional level that I was prior to Victoria’s diagnosis.

Earlier this year when I was having some quiet time with God down at the lake He showed me three things … a flock of black swans moving in unison on the water …. a flock of seagulls flying together just above the water …. a school of fish swimming close to the surface in the lake. Then He said, ‘Wendy, don’t forget about the gathering.’

God knew it was time for me to expand again. And of course His timing is always perfect. Just reflecting on this week …. Monday we received fantastic news regarding Victoria and no more routine scans being required; And then we had three separate unrelated fellowship gatherings at our home, Monday night; Wednesday night and Friday morning. After each one I felt so excited to have the emotional capacity to once again be hospitable and open our home to people.

So why am I sharing this story? Well, perhaps you are in a season where you are unable to fully act on the desires of your heart. So I want to encourage you that this season will change, and God will bring you to that place again.

But it won’t be the same as before, it will be different, because you will be different. Your motive will be more aligned with God’s heart. The execution will be better because of your greater dependence on God to make it happen. The blessing to others will be greater as God has enlarged your capacity to love.

Our God is faithful. He does work all things together for good to those who love Him, to those who are called according to His purpose.

Let’s give a shout of joy to the Lord, in the words of Psalm 100 from The Passion Translation.

Lift up a great shout of joy to the Lord!
Go ahead and do it—everyone, everywhere!
As you serve him, be glad and worship him.
Sing your way into his presence with joy!
And realize what this really means—
we have the privilege of worshiping the Lord our God.
For he is our Creator and we belong to him.
We are the people of his pleasure.
You can pass through his open gates with the password of praise.
Come right into his presence with thanksgiving.
Come bring your thank offering to him
and affectionately bless his beautiful name!
For the Lord is always good and ready to receive you.
He’s so loving that it will amaze you—
so kind that it will astound you!
And he is famous for his faithfulness toward all.
Everyone knows our God can be trusted,
for he keeps his promises to every generation!
Psalm 100 TPT

Standing in the supermarket. The phone goes. It’s my husband. I just start crying, and eventually manage to say, “I’m not coping.” He says, “Where are you? I’ll be there soon.”

Wow, this whole morning has taken me by surprise. I thought I’d be okay, that I’d just push through as normal. But apparently no. Tears. Tears. And more tears. I’d already cried a couple of bucket fulls earlier during my prayer time, then while doing the ironing, and then when driving children around – thank God for sunglasses!

In the middle of these unexpected tears I receive a text from a friend saying she was praying for me. When I responded with how I was feeling she shared this scripture …

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. Psalm 56:8

Praise God for family and friends. He knows that we cannot do this life alone. We need Him. We need other people. We need love. We need peace.

It was the morning of Victoria’s scan, number 26! And potentially the last one ever! The tears were another level of the grieving for a childhood that has not been not as it should have. We are so grateful that she is still with us, as we know that is not the outcome for all families on the cancer journey. But there has still been loss. Loss of a carefree childhood.

In these times of unexpected tears I know where I have to go…. to that place where I am close to God. The place where I can be still and know that He is God, and that He will be exalted. The place that is the shadow of His wings.

When you sit enthroned under the shadow of Shaddai, you are hidden in the strength of God Most High. He’s the hope that holds me and the Stronghold to shelter me, the only God for me, and my great confidence. Psalm 91:1-2 TPT

It is not a tangible place. Rather it is a posture of my heart. Me knowing in my heart that God is real and that He cares about every aspect of my life, our marriage and our children’s lives. It is a place where I can grieve but still know that there is hope and that it is good and right to have confidence in my God, the creator of Heaven and Earth.

[Most] blessed is the man who believes in, trusts in, and relies on the Lord, and whose hope and confidence the Lord is. Jeremiah 17:7 AMPC

We will all have those days when the tears unexpectedly come. Those times are an opportunity to be still and experience more of God’s great love for us, His children.

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are. 1 John 3:1 NIV

So let’s not fight back the tears, but rather embrace them, and let our heart soften and lean a little further towards our Heavenly Father.