Unexpected Tears

Standing in the supermarket. The phone goes. It’s my husband. I just start crying, and eventually manage to say, “I’m not coping.” He says, “Where are you? I’ll be there soon.”

Wow, this whole morning has taken me by surprise. I thought I’d be okay, that I’d just push through as normal. But apparently no. Tears. Tears. And more tears. I’d already cried a couple of bucket fulls earlier during my prayer time, then while doing the ironing, and then when driving children around – thank God for sunglasses!

In the middle of these unexpected tears I receive a text from a friend saying she was praying for me. When I responded with how I was feeling she shared this scripture …

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. Psalm 56:8

Praise God for family and friends. He knows that we cannot do this life alone. We need Him. We need other people. We need love. We need peace.

It was the morning of Victoria’s scan, number 26! And potentially the last one ever! The tears were another level of the grieving for a childhood that has not been not as it should have. We are so grateful that she is still with us, as we know that is not the outcome for all families on the cancer journey. But there has still been loss. Loss of a carefree childhood.

In these times of unexpected tears I know where I have to go…. to that place where I am close to God. The place where I can be still and know that He is God, and that He will be exalted. The place that is the shadow of His wings.

When you sit enthroned under the shadow of Shaddai, you are hidden in the strength of God Most High. He’s the hope that holds me and the Stronghold to shelter me, the only God for me, and my great confidence. Psalm 91:1-2 TPT

It is not a tangible place. Rather it is a posture of my heart. Me knowing in my heart that God is real and that He cares about every aspect of my life, our marriage and our children’s lives. It is a place where I can grieve but still know that there is hope and that it is good and right to have confidence in my God, the creator of Heaven and Earth.

[Most] blessed is the man who believes in, trusts in, and relies on the Lord, and whose hope and confidence the Lord is. Jeremiah 17:7 AMPC

We will all have those days when the tears unexpectedly come. Those times are an opportunity to be still and experience more of God’s great love for us, His children.

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are. 1 John 3:1 NIV

So let’s not fight back the tears, but rather embrace them, and let our heart soften and lean a little further towards our Heavenly Father.

Author: Wendy Robinson

I have a background of working in the corporate sphere, however the past 8 years of living with a child with cancer have impacted me greatly, and have led to me to regularly write and speaking about this horrendously challenging journey. Many of the things I've learnt can be applied to any challenge we face in life, not just cancer. In 2018 I published a book about some of our journey of living with a child with cancer - Childhood Cancer - A survival guide for parents - written by a parent. It includes the practical strategies, tips and checklists we used to during this period to help our family survive this season. More information about my book is available on https://childhoodcancerparentsguide.com If you are planning an event and are looking for a speaker on any of the following topics, please contact me at wendy@wendyrobinson.com.au Living with a child with cancer – strategies for making it through Siblings – helping them thrive when they have a sibling with special needs Marriage – keeping your marriage going during the crisis and then when you are an on-going primary carer Caring for the carer – coping with depression and strategies for good mental health Rehabilitation – strategies for helping a young child requiring physical rehabilitation Writing as therapy – steps for writing your story Building resilience - Adversity is a good teacher – for us and our children Spirituality – where is God when the tough times come Corporate / Business Background For the past 16 years I have worked at Newsletter House in a management capacity, including helping navigate the business through the economic challenges of being a small business hit by the GFC. Prior to August 2003 the majority of my experience was in project-related roles in the banking sector. Particularly project planning, process improvement and project office roles.